Why New Year’s is the Most Underrated Holiday in America

OK, let’s cut to the chase and get right to the point here: New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day is the most underrated holiday in the country. I’m not going to sit here and debate about whether or not it’s the best, that is a matter of opinion (it is). This is about how underrated the holiday is supported with pretty solid logic.

1. New Year’s is the only holiday that basically is celebrated in two different days. Just, let that sink in.
2. It is the most historic holiday.

No other holiday is more entrenched in history than New Year’s. What am I talking about, you ask? Is New Year’s a holiday about being thankful as inspired by the pilgrims who were grateful to pillage land from the Native Americans? Is New Year’s a holiday that celebrates the birth of many people’s lord and savior? Is New Year’s a holiday that celebrates the independence of this great country of ours? Nope, but guess what, it’s still more historic. Because at the end of the day, all history begins with a marker of time. ALL history begins with when it happened and what the world was like when it happened. Every new year, there is a new marker of the world’s progress and the state of the world.

3. It is the least divisive holiday.

There are no debates about whether to say, “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.” There are no debates about whether the holiday is morally tainted because a race of people were robbed of their land. It’s just a holiday to either party the hardest your body can possibly endure, OR to stay in and enjoy with your family. There is no division. Just booze, sex, reflection, inspiration for the year ahead, and family. And usually, we ALL experience at least ONE of those things on this two-day holiday extravaganza.

The two biggest criticisms of the New Year’s holidays are that people are pathetic or ridiculous for making New Year’s resolutions when they could have been making the changes all along. The other criticism is that there are too many drunkards who flood the streets and it is unsafe. First, let’s begin with the resolution criticism. What inspires anyone should be no damn concern to you. There. Matter addressed. Next, if you want to stay away from drunken people or drunk drivers, then spend time with the family! Reflect over the year you just went through and survived! YOU MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAMN YEAR! IT’S LIKE A SECOND BIRTHDAY FOR EVERYBODY! CELEBRATE THAT SHIT! I’m going to say it again in case you missed it: New Year’s is a second birthday for EVERYBODY. In fact, I should make a follow-up post to this where I come up with New Year’s rituals to help families reflect and celebrate the holiday the right way! Maybe that will help stop this holiday from being so under-appreciated. Maybe while we’re at it, we should exchange goddamn gifts on New Year’s too. Maybe then it will have your respect….fuck.

New Year’s is awesome. It has the biggest parties, the best fashion, and the most pulse. It has the history of the 4th of July, the reflection of Thanksgiving, the impetus to celebrate and spend time with family akin to Christmas, the sexiness of Halloween….man it has everything. And, now, the final reason why New Year’s is the most underrated holiday, and one that I feel is perhaps the most overlooked:

– It’s only anticipated for like FIVE DAYS!

Christmas TOOOOOTALY steals the crap out of New Year’s thunder. Sure, people will make travel arrangements before these five days, they’ll even make plans ahead of time. But the holiday season is totally Bogarted by Christmas. In a perfect world, Christmas really WOULD be in July so that New Year’s would get the respect and anticipation it deserves.

Oh, and how awesome is the countdown!? The freakin’ ball! Auld Lang Syne! MAYYYNE, YA’LL ARE DEAD-ASS, DROOL-IN-THE-MOUTH SLEEP ON NEW YEAR’S, and I, for one, am bringing attention to this travesty!

So here’s what you’re all going to do. You’re going to take tomorrow, either spend it with loved ones or go out and have the best time you can possibly have. You also will use this marking of time to motivate yourself for the exciting new year that awaits while reflecting back on the last. And most importantly, you ALL are going to agree to the following New Year’s resolution:

STOP TAKING THIS AWESOME TWO-DAY HOLIDAY FOR GRANTED NEXT YEAR!!

Now THAT, is one resolution that doesn’t seem so damn hard to keep.